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Dating has become so casual these days. Some chicks I know look at it as a fun and exciting hobby, you get to meet someone new and feel wanted for a change... Who doesn't want to feel wanted, right? However, there's a handful of us (raises hand) who don't want to casually date. We're looking for more! We want to build a friendship and a bond with someone that we can potentially spend the rest of our life with while growing and experiencing life together. Considering forever is a long time, how do you know you're ready to start such a journey? What determines if you are capable to start dating with the hopes of finding your prince charming?
Of course everyone has different qualities that will let them know when they are ready, but there are three things that I believe we all should be aware of before we decide to open ourselves to dating.
First, make sure your relationship with God is so strong that you have the gift of discernment. Let's be honest ladies, dating is so much fun! Hanging out with a guy is exciting (especially if he's attractive!) but you want to have the ability to guard your heart as well as the strength to make him work for you. It's so easy to get caught up in the "idea of him" or how desirable he is that you can risk giving your heart to someone who doesn't deserve it too soon. Constantly growing your relationship with God will increase your discernment You'll be able to tell when you are moving too fast, too slow or when you need to run before it's too late.
Secondly, you have to have confidence with or without a man. Many times our confidence is determined by our relationship or who is interested in us at a point in time. Before you really start dating and getting to know people make sure you love yourself and value yourself first. The more you adore you, you're more likely to protect yourself from "charmers" <--- You know, the guys who say what they need to say because it sounds good. Confidence is also important because once your're in that relationship you have to be able to trust your partner. The ladies who are checking through his phone and doing "drive by missions" to make sure he is where he said he was going to be are not very confident. You're relationship shouldn't turn you into this paranoid insecure individual. You should have a enough confidence to know you are an amazing catch and he's not going anywhere...and if he does, know that he lost someone great you didn't!
Finally, you know you are one step closer to dating once you are able to consistently balance life, goals and purpose.
- Life = daily, day to day task. Keeping up with yourself, being healthy, going to work/ school.
- Goals = working towards where you see yourself in 5 or 10 years... This is really for my future entrepreneurs
- Purpose = The things God have called you to do
This is the section that I struggle with. Balance in life is essential. Dating will definitely take a lot of your time and focus so you don't want to start dating when you haven't found a way to balance you first. Once you have that down then you can add "him" into the equation.
Hopefully this is a start to helping you decide if you are ready or not. Go at your own pace. Don't let friends or society make you feel like you have to hurry up or you're too old not to have started. Timing, especially God's timing, is most important. Focus on you and preparing yourself so when the time is right, you'll be more than ready and capable.
What are some things that help you determine if you're ready to date?