I wanted to share a not so short Christmas poem. I wrote this a few weeks ago while listening to (over and over) Steven Sharp Nelson's O Come, O Come, Emmanuel. This reading will be set to that music and played (along with another piece that I wrote) during the Christmas Eve service that I've prepared tonight at our church.
As I listened to the great piece by Steven Sharp Nelson and his brilliant cello work - these words seemed to just flow from my heart as I remembered where God brought me from. For God's glory!
O Come!
To whom do I go?
I have exhausted my resources.
I have tried to live for pleasure.
It brings no joy.
I have tried to live for others.
But I get in the way.
I've really lived for myself.
No. I live for myself.
I know there is a God.
But he makes no difference in my life.
My conscience tells me that there are rights and wrongs.
But my heart chooses the wrong.
Self.
I live for myself.
Pride defines me.
I know deep down that there is something better.
But I suppress it.
I push it down.
I think I am righteous. Religious even.
I show others that I am.
But I'm not.
God, I know you are there.
And you know my heart.
I feel so distant from you.
I think that you are far away…
But it's me who is far from you.
What got me to this place in life?
Why do I find no lasting joy in anything or anyone?
I place expectations on others…I want joy from them.
But they let me down.
And I let them down. Over and over.
My eyes are drawn to the glitter of new things.
Shiny new things.
Yes, that will bring me joy!
But wait. The shine wears off.
It wears off quickly.
It always wears off.
No lasting joy comes to my heart.
Why?
If only there was something that would make this sick feeling of guilt go away.
If only there was something that could give me joy and peace.
I cannot find it anywhere.
I cannot find joy in anything.
There is no peace in my heart. There is no sign of hope.
God, you are so far away.
No, it's me who is far from you.
It's my sin.
My sin separates me from you.
You know that my heart is full of sin.
Deceit.
Lies.
Hatred.
Pride.
God, there are too many to name!
My heart is dark.
I am in the dark.
I am lost.
I am blind.
I've tried to make myself right.
But I am dead in my sins.
There is no life in me.
There is nothing that I can do.
My attempts to make myself right --
They fail.
My attempts to live to please you --
They fail.
You are holy.
Perfect.
Absolutely perfect.
How?
How can a sinner like me be in your presence?
-- silence --
I am unable to come to you.
My heart doesn't even want to come to you.
Something has to change.
Someone has to change me.
Wait.
There is a promise.
I've heard it. It's Your promise.
Long ago You made a declaration.
You said that you would send someone.
Centuries ago, while your people were just like me,
You promised a Redeemer.
Way before even that, in eternity past,
You had a plan.
Your plan changes everything.
Emmanuel.
God with us.
He was Your plan.
All along Jesus was Your plan.
While I was a rebellious sinner, you made this plan.
While I was a rebellious sinner, you loved me.
Emmanuel.
God among us.
He would come.
He would leave His place of glory and honor.
To come. To live a perfect life.
To die.
Wait! To die?
To be crushed by the Father?
Wait, how can it be?
Why the Cross?
Why the pain?
Why the suffering?
Why death?
Because of my sin.
Because the penalty is great.
Because the wrath of a holy God is on me.
Emmanuel. God with us.
He would come to take my place.
Take the wrath I deserve.
Emmanuel. The baby of Christmas…
He has to go to the Cross.
God's plan.
The Lamb of God.
The perfect sacrifice.
Emmanuel.
He was sent out of love.
Out of mercy.
He was sent to ransom the captives.
To those who mourn in their exile.
Yes, in my sin I mourn….exiled from your love.
But rejoice. Emmanuel shall come!
He comes to set me free.
Free from Satan…free from sin…free from hell.
Free from the grave.
O come Emmanuel.
Set me free so that I can enjoy You!
Enjoy You forever!
Then there will be peace in my heart.
There is hope in Emmanuel alone!
Then there is joy!
Lasting joy!
Eternal joy!
God with us.
Eternal joy with God through Christ!
Jesus is the joy set before me.
O come, Emmanuel.
Come to my heart.
Change my heart.
Give me faith to see You.
Open my eyes to see you Jesus.