Have you ever felt like your prayer life goes through mood swings?
Sometimes I feel like my prayers are all over the emotional map. At times, they can be like that of a hurricane where I can’t seem to get enough out; my pen furiously scribbles to keep up with the breath of my heart. These are times where words flow like a raging river that has no end point.
Then there are those times where I can’t seem to buy a word. Prayer looks like staring out of window in silence. (Crickets.) Sometimes my heart has no thought, and no breath; the screen remains blank with the cursor's captivating blink.
It is in the times where I have nothing to say that I am so thankful for the Psalms. In the midst of my heart's lack of description, I like to tap into the words of David’s heart. I love getting lost in the intimacy of his words to a very known God in his life.
David always brought his many and his few to God. David knew everything mattered to God. I am constantly blown away by how unedited he was with God; holding back no word or emotion.
David was all in even when he “wasn’t there” yet.
I have been captivated by the future tense of David’s prayer in Psalm 63. In this Psalm, David consistently uses the phrase, “I will.” This tells me that David’s heart might not have been in the place he was talking to God about.
For example, David states:
"I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you."
The phrase “I will” speaks to a place David was choosing to believe in. “I will” tells me that David was not quite in the place of praise, but was choosing to anyway. This is so refreshing to me.
I feel this future tense very much in me. I am not in a place where praising Him, trusting Him, and hoping are coming easily. But, the point is that in the midst of this place, I want to remember that choosing God is what matters.
I am going to speculate and say that I don’t think David was in a place where praising, trusting, and depending on God were coming easily as well. But, saying “I will” kept David obedient and present with God. David chose God in the midst of when choosing him might’ve been hard. He chose him.
No matter the state of my heart, whether overflowing or desert dry, I want to say “I will” to choosing God.
What kind of conversations are you having with him these days?
This article originally appeared as a guest post on Jennifer O. White's blog Prayerfully Speaking.
CC Image • ®achel on Flickr