Parenthood, arguably the best show on television, had its season finale last week. As I thought about the final episode (yes, this is a show I often reflect on later), I realized something: the Bravermans display true community. They show us community as it is: messy, painful, and wonderful. We can learn from this fictional family what it means to have actual community.
The Bravermans do not shy away from conflict.
When someone in their family is wrong, the Bravermans let them know. They do so out of love, though. When Zeek confronts Amber about drinking and driving, he is not gentle or soft. He gets in her face because he knows that’s how she needs to hear it. He yells at her because he loves her and wants her to be safe. Other times, characters have been less harsh when encouraging right behavior. They tailor their confrontation to the person they are dealing with and the situation they are going through.
The Bravermans are there for the good times.
They celebrate each others’ victories. Sarah wrote a play? Everyone goes to watch it. Birthdays? Everyone celebrates. When someone is born, they all go to the hospital. When someone leaves, they create a timeline of their life and celebrate with a party. And when Victor is adopted, all the Bravermans go to the courthouse and vow before the judge to love him as their own child/grandchild/nephew/cousin/brother. All while everyone at home sheds a tear.
The Bravermans are there for the bad times.
The Braverman family has not had it easy, but they take on bad situations together. This has been most evident in Kristina’s cancer diagnosis. The scene where she told the family she had cancer was absolutely amazing. The camera pans to each of the family members, showing their individual reactions because the audience knows her diagnosis affects each and every one of them deeply.
When Kristina is in the hospital over Christmas, the entire family changes their plans to take care of the kids. Zeek shows up to the hospital, despite Adam telling him not to, because he knows his son needs him.
The Bravermans welcome those who are different and those who are new.
Max’s autism diagnosis was difficult, and the family had to learn how to deal with and understand Max. They taught their children how Max thought differently, but he was still part of their family. Each family member took time to re-learn how to relate to him. The Bravermans also embrace newcomers. All the children-in-laws were treated as if they were Bravermans by blood. Ryan is part of family baseball games and dinners and adoption ceremonies and he’s just a friend/boyfriend.
The Bravermans offer solid advice and encouragement.
Whether it’s girl problems, work issues or marital disagreements, the Bravermans go to each other for advice first. And if they aren’t asked, they give their advice anyway. They are also fantastic at encouragement. Crosby encourages Julia to go through with the adoption. Kristina encourages Adam daily. Zeek encourages Sarah to go for her dreams. Camille encourages Kristina when she is starting chemo. Haddie encourages Max to embrace his uniqueness in his student class president speech. Amber encourages Drew in everything. Those Bravermans are constantly lifting each other up.
Everybody wants to be a Braverman.
Every Tuesday night the show is on I see at least one tweet lamenting the fact that the tweeter cannot be part of the Braverman clan. This fictional family has what we all crave and want; they have true community. We desire to be a part of something like that. We can learn from these Bravermans. We can take what they do and apply it to our own families–blood relatives or not. We can be Bravermans, y’all.