Through this journey of blogging and sharing my heart with you guys, I've been fortunate enough to meet some amazingly beautiful and inspiring women from all over the world. Talking to many of you about your lives and your love for God helped me realize we all have stories and experiences that can encourage each other. Because of this, I decided to start a section entitled Her Story. All of our stories are uniquely different but have the potential to drastically impact the world. Hopefully you guys find inspiration, healing and hope through the stories of chicks who are just like you :)
Meet my beautiful friend from Nigeria, Evidence Grace Okoye
I was in a relationship with a guy which lasted ten yrs (2002-2012). I was 16 and he was 20. When we started, I was not a christian but a church goer. There was a lot of sex and licentiousness in the relationship. Along the line, we came to know God and the struggle with sexual addiction in the relationship began.
| By: Evidence Grace Okoye Follow her on twitter @gracewwyn or email her at graceyokoye@yahoo.com and tell her if you were inspired! |
Meet my beautiful friend from Nigeria, Evidence Grace Okoye
I was in a relationship with a guy which lasted ten yrs (2002-2012). I was 16 and he was 20. When we started, I was not a christian but a church goer. There was a lot of sex and licentiousness in the relationship. Along the line, we came to know God and the struggle with sexual addiction in the relationship began.
We started to pray together, attend some church programs together, fast about our relationship. In the process of praying, I discovered the relationship was God's will. This knowledge kept me in the relationship.
In 2007, I joined a youth ministry where I discovered God's purpose for me and my passion for God increased. I was still a university student while he worked and schooled part time. Though my passion for God increased, his decreased. He got involved with worldly friends who help quench his fire. So, the friction began: frequent fights with him accusing me of cheating when I attend fellowship stuff. His attendance in church dropped gradually and so did his faith as a christian.
Due to love and forgiveness, we lasted this long. But the longer we stayed, the more the gap of differences between us increased. Though I prayed for God to draw him closer, nothing changed. However, we started planning to get married.
This year, it dawned on me that if I wanted peace of mind, I ought to call off the relationship. He had gone back to his old ways and we were too different and spiritually incompatible to be yoked together in marriage. It was VERY difficult because I still loved him and wished he would change. I cried and wished there was another way. A day after the day I called off the relationship, I broke down with a fever, that's how bad it was.
I looked back at the 10 years we shared and thoughts of regret flooded my mind. Many of my friends whose relationship didn't last as long as ours have gotten married between 2011 and this year, which made me feel like 'God, why me?'. Some of them were people we both gave relationship advice.
I bless God for giving grace to make the decision. I cried days after that and was tempted to call him as frequent as I did before but God strenthened me to move on. He was a huge part of my life, but God is helping me adjust to life without him. I'd rather be single than be with a man who doesn't truly fear God, who is not truly submitted to him. If I have to cajole him to pay his tithe now, go to church and be serious with God, what will I do when we get married? Such a prospect is completely unpalatable to me.
Right now, my emotions are more stable and I feel a lot stronger thanks to the Holyspirit. I would like to encourage ladies who may be with a man who isn't spiritually sound and compatible with them to run for their lives, no matter how bad it seems. Its better for a christian lady to be on her own than to be with a man who claims he loves God but his life says otherwise. God's grace is sufficient.
Shalom
Evidence Grace Okoye
Evidence Grace Okoye