People are born with the need for physical touch. Studies have shown that kids who don’t receive sufficient affection have a greater risk of health and social problems.
This need for physical contact doesn’t end as we age either. Massages are sometimes recommended for elderly patients who are isolated because of the power of touch on mental/physical health.
As a kid I was always asking my parents for hugs. And they freely gave them. Having their arms wrapped around me helped me to feel safe, valued and loved.
After I got older and married to my lovely wife we learned that my secondary love language is physical touch. Basically, this means LK is in danger of being smothered to death and I never get tired of holding her hand.
My kids thrive on affection. Every day when I get home from work I’m greeted by hugs and kisses from Wheels and Peaches. Three-month-old Kiwi is still on the cusp of crawling so she gives me a bright toothless smile. Each night at bedtime another round of hugs and kisses is passed around. Although, Wheels has introduced the side-hug recently (maybe he’s been reading Jon Acuff).
And physical touch doesn’t always have to be affectionate. My kids love to wrestle and rough house with me. Wheels is getting big enough to put up a good fight, but Peaches talks trash better. When we’re hanging out before dinner they usually give me the “look” and team up to bring me down.
One interesting characteristic I’ve noticed about Kiwi is she loves to be touched. If she’s on her play-mat and fussy all we need to do is sit close enough for her hand or foot to reach us and she calms down.
During bottle feedings Kiwi will seize my thumb and pinky in each hand with a death grip. When trying to rock her to sleep afterward with a binky she will grab my hand and hold it tight to her cheek. Kiwi likes to kick it on the floor by herself sometimes, but she loves physical contact and is a snuggler.
I understand some parents may not have grown up in affectionate homes (or sadly may have been abused in the past), but kids need you. Just simply sitting together on the couch so they can lean on your shoulder or stopping to give them a hug before you bolt off to work can mean the world to them.
Even when they get out of bed for the umpteenth time asking for “just one more hug”.
Questions: When was the last time you hugged your kids? Are any of your kids future “pro” wrestlers?